Wednesday 30 August 2017

Your Mid-Week Update for 08/30/17

Not much to report this week. I’m trying to enjoy the warm weather while it’s still here. It seems like half the office is off on vacation – though, in reality, it’s only two. It was just two of the productive ones. Everything has been quiet at home. I know I haven’t talked about them in a while but that’s just because everything is okay.

I think we’re out of milk.

That’s as crazy as it gets right now. I think I’ve talked about this before but lulls aren’t bad. It’s when you start obsessing that lulls become dangerous. I suppose that’s true of everything; if you let it consume your thoughts it’ll take over every part of you.

Look at me, with the semi-clever lines.

As I said; all’s well.


I cannot think about it; the lull. Like a calm before the storm. This happens every time and yet I never learn. Maybe I never will.

As always, dear readers,


Stay Safe

Wednesday 23 August 2017

Your Mid-Week Update for 08/23/17

Have I ever told you about my 21st birthday murder spree? 21 is a huge time in a girl’s life. It’s a time of growth, and change. Even if it’s not a huge legal milestone, we’re still conditioned to celebrate it as a rite of passage into adulthood. This was just before I started writing this blog. I got the idea for it after this night. I wanted to be able to share my experiences without, you know, getting arrested.

My sister and I went out with some friends and got exceptionally drunk. It may have lowered my inhibitions but I certainly enjoyed myself.

It started at the first bar, then the next, then the next. We began the night with 8 friends, ended with 6. One went home. The other was found outside a McDonalds 4 blocks away. I also met some lovely strangers that night; too many to count obviously but there were certainly 5 who stayed in my memory.

The first was a bouncer at a club (that I don’t think is open anymore). It was our first stop of the night so we hadn’t had much to drink but one of the girls was very eager to get the night started right away. I took the opportunity to hold her hair back in the alleyway and scope out my first victim. While Chelsea was busy puking her guts out, I snagged the bouncer as he switched shifts. Quick and painless garroting. Always keep wire in your purse, ladies. It’s so useful.

Then there was the cab driver on the way to our third bar. I poisoned him. Heat activated capsule of boric acid in his coffee cup when he wasn’t looking.

Just kidding – though didn’t that sound cool? One thing on my bucket list is to kill someone like I was a spy in some noir story. Or like a foreign secret agent who shall not be named mostly because I’m unsure of copyright laws.

Anyways, it was way easier. While one of the girls was paying the fare, I slashed a tire and cut some sort of wire – cars were never my thing. He crashed a few blocks later and then was hit by another car when he tried to escape.

Next was the girl sitting next to us at the bar. Just before we left, I poured a cap of bleach into her drink. By that point, we were all too drunk to remember much of anything which made the police’s job so much harder – and our alibis that much easier to make up.

Lastly, there was a couple who worked at a restaurant near one of the girls’ apartments. We ordered food from them and when I stepped out for fresh air not long after, I used the wire (cleaned of course) on both of them; leaving them to be sent to the city dump and – to my knowledge – never be found.

It really was a wonderful night. Not only did I get to spend time with my friends – even if some were more interested in partying than staying together – but I got to indulge and enjoy myself on my own terms. What a night!

Sandra would have been 21 on Monday. There’s so much she’ll never get to do. So many people she’ll never get to be. What should have been a momentous day is still so filled with sadness. You are forever in my heart, my darling.

As always, dear readers,


Stay Safe

Wednesday 16 August 2017

Your Mid-Week Update for 08/16/17

At no point in history do I ever want to see myself as a moral superior. I kill people for sport. I find pleasure in taking other’s lives and I feel no remorse. For all intents and purposes I am a monster in society – albeit a charming and witty one – but a monster nonetheless.

I have prided myself on creating a blog that is the culmination of fantasy and reality. Not every detail is true but there’s enough to offer an insight into my daily life, and it allows me to anonymously vent my frustrations to the world.

In a life that is dark and unrelenting, I need to be reminded of my own humanity. My career and my personal life have been rather chaotic as of late. To tell you the truth, I haven’t had a completely stress-free week since I started killing; but these last few years have been particularly rough.

Losing a child – a loved one – is never easy.

Normally I would use this space to tell you about my latest kill or some ridiculous thing Heather has done this week but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve ignored a lot of world events and avoided talking about politics on this blog but too much has happened lately.

We are as close to destruction as we were at the height of the Cold War. We’ve been like that for nearly 8 months now and it’s only gotten worse. There is so much hate in the world I feel like the only sane one. I don’t know who’s worse: them or me. To kill with reason or without? I don’t discriminate in choice of victim. When I kill, it’s not because I think it’s right or good. I kill because it’s fun and I’m good at it – and if you want to do something right, you have to do it yourself.

I use a lot of humor in my writing because I am so accustomed to death and yes, that does make me a monster; but there are things worse than monsters in the world. There are things I can’t warn you against or protect my loved ones from. Sometimes it’s just over.

The reason I’m writing this is to remind you, my dear readers, to keep going. I would hate to see you stop doing what you believe in because monsters – or worse – threaten your life. But you cannot retaliate. Fighting hate with hate will only make that clock tick faster. Be more resilient than the things that would tear you down.

It’s all quiet on the home front. No more killing today.

As always, dear readers,


Stay Safe

Wednesday 9 August 2017

Your Mid-Week Update for 08/09/17

Short and brief today. Mostly because I am exhausted and it’s bad enough I have to stare at a computer screen all day. The heat wave has been killing me. My sleep cycle is so off and nothing has really helped it. I tried Melatonin, fans, cold compress, I even slept downstairs for a few nights but my neck severely disagreed with that. Ever since that car accident a few years ago, I need a soft even surface to sleep on.

Anyways, this sleeplessness has led to more than a few late night murder trips just to move around. I get so restless lying in bed with nothing to do but sweat. But because I’ve been so exhausted, I’m not as focused as I could be – I know that – still, it’s fun.

So I wrestling with one of my attackers and he did not get the upper hand but he did have me backed against a wall. Now I learned this trick from Outlander – the tv series, not the books; I haven’t read the books so I don’t know, maybe it’s also featured in the books – of all places. It’s a wonder I’ve never used it before. I stabbed him in the back, under the ribs and in an upward thrust motion. I try my best not to get into a position where I need to stab someone who’s on top of me. But if the occasion ever arises again, I know what to do.

I’m actually quite liking Outlander. It’s a good series. Those too seem to have a healthy love life which is such a rare thing in television. Either they’re never fucking or they’re doing it all the time. I just mean it’s nice to see a couple enjoy one another instead of their relationship being so one-sided. Although, I may be wrong. For all I know the books don’t match up at all. Have any of you dear readers read Outlander? How does the series compare?

Alright, I need to rest my eyes. Seriously. I’m going to take a nap at lunch today. I may not even make it until then. Hope your day is good; mine will certainly drag on.

As always, dear readers,


Stay Safe

Wednesday 2 August 2017

Your Mid-Week Update for 08/02/17

This summer has absolutely flown by. I cannot believe it’s August already. I was going to ask the boys if they wanted to go on vacation but we’ve only got a month left before the fall.

Although…

No one is confined to a certain schedule. No one is attending school or has any major plans. What if we took a family trip later in the year? October in Europe might be interesting. Or perhaps a cruise? I’ve always wanted to go to the Caribbean. Now is it Car-i-bean or Cari-bee-an?I think it depends on the context but what do you think, dear readers?

Speaking of my dear readers, I wanted to talk about you today.

I was having lunch with Heather the other day and we started talking about murder. After the incident with her ex-husband, she realized that it had not been my first time handling a dead body – or the discrete disposal of one – so she asked me if I had experience I told her I had.

People who kill together have no secrets. Or at least they shouldn’t.

She knows that I at least kill people or have killed people in the past (enough to be calm in the face of trauma) so at lunch yesterday, she asked me a very interesting question:

How do you choose your victims?

First, I assured her that I’m not some secret government agent or ruthless assassin – although I would make an excellent Black Widow-type…if I hit the gym a little bit more than one a month. Killing is a sport for me. It’s a weekend hobby that I’m quite good at. Most days, there’s no rhyme or reason to who I choose. If they cross my path, they’re a potential victim. But then she said: “but not everyone you choose wanders down a dark alley alone in the middle of the night, how do you get them alone?”

Here’s where you come in, dear readers.

When I say everyone is a potential victim, I mean it. There is no safety in numbers, there is no protection under a streetlight, you’re not safe in a crowded room. If someone is intent on harming you, they will find a way and you are not safe unless you can fight back – and even that is not a guarantee.

The best thing you can do is avoid being careless. Opportunistic killers are much easier to handle. I swim between the realms of “opportunistic” and “targeted” so some of this will apply to my potential victims.

The easiest way for me to trap someone is if they’re walking alone at night. There’s less light, less people, and less awareness of your surroundings. However, I’ve absolutely backed away from someone who was on the phone with a loved one. If I know your absence will be missed right away, I’ll admit, I’m less inclined to take the opportunity. If you’ve been targeted for a specific reason then you’re shit out of luck, sweetie pie. Your loved ones may very well hear you die but that’s how it goes.

If you’re in a group, it is easier than you think to be snatched from the back of a pack. I sometimes do this just for fun. To prove I can do it. The ultimate goal is isolation so if you’re already alone, or you’ve fallen behind from your group, beware. Day or night, it’s not that hard. I will say, if you fight me, there’s a 50% chance I’ll want to kill you more out of spite. There’s no guarantee. Your only hope of survival is to not get caught.

Those of the big ones when it comes to isolating and killing. If you’re alone – or I can easily get you alone – and you piss me off, you’re done for.

Now not everyone who walks alone at night down a dark, deserted alley, will become a victim. It’s a numbers game. You could go your whole life without being murdered.

That was a little joke.

The point is, everyone I pass is a potential target, but that doesn’t mean that everyone will become one. My advice to the living and potentially dead is this: keep going. If you’re going to die at my hands then it will happen no matter what you do. So enjoy your life. Leave good things behind when I kill you.

And as always, dear readers,


Stay Safe